Murphy’s Law – Hawaiian Style

“Murphy’s Law – Hawaiian Style” – e-Hawaii Joke

  • There will be a minimum of 5 different types of chicken at a potluck.
  • A girl in Hawai`i reaches maturity when she reads the Long’s ad before the Sunday comics.
  • The chance of being able to divide a manapua evenly in half depends upon how much you want to share it.
  • Life is what your parents let you make of it.
  • The best way to catch up on old friends, is to shop weekly at Longs.
  • The syrup in your shave ice will always run out before the ice.
  • Never insult a person who is bigger than you or named Sua.
  • Rugby is the Samoan form of therapy.
  • Never talk to haoles in pidgin, they may try to answer back.
  • When all else fails, say you’re a tourist.
  • Clouds always have a way of following you to the beach.
  • A luau is when pig is served and made of oneself.
  • In Hawaii the extended family could include half the islands.
  • The best waves for surfing will always break while you’re in school.
  • The poi dog you got free from a friend will always be smarter and cuter at their house.
  • If you think you’ve got it bad, try being a tourist stranded at Waimanalo Beach Park.
  • The only good pigeon is one that can’t fly higher than your head.
  • There is always one more cockroach.
  • Be wary of a Hawaiian who says he lives in Kahala but got a District Exception to Farrington.
  • A mango a day might not keep the Doctor away, but that’s one way to get rid of them.
  • The ume will always be in the last corner of the musubi.
  • The Kim Chee you ate three days ago will always resurface while you’re on that important date.
  • Just when you think you’ve met the girl of your dreams, her five older brothers tell you otherwise.
  • The guy you’re crazy about will always ask you out on a night you have to go to a family gathering.
  • In Hawaii the legal age for drinking is 21 and the legal height is 5′-1″.
  • If you buy a new dress for a party, the chances are that someone else at the party was also shopping at Ross’s.
  • If an invitation says dinner at 6 PM (Hawaiian Time) you can safely assume they mean 7:30 PM.
  • Formal in Hawaii is a T-shirt without pukas and new slippas.
  • When in doubt talk pidgin, when in trouble talk Hawaiian.
  • When there’s a long line at Oceans and you want to impress your date, the doorman you know will have called in sick.
  • The chance of you losing the top of your shave ice is directly proportional to how long the line was.
  • On the day you start your diet, someone will bring a bag of malasadas to the office.
  • The page you need in the public telephone booth will always be missing.
  • The best place to find a Tongan or Samoan during the day is in a tree.
  • The prerequisites for the Honolulu Police Department are a 4-year varsity letter, a Portuguese last name and healed acne scars.
  • Bad luck is an asthmatic caught behind a bus in rush hour traffic.
  • The guy you’d least like to dance with will always approach you when a slow song is playing.
  • You know it’s time to leave the disco when the best looking men are the bouncers and the best looking women are the waitresses.
  • A non-smoker will always be seated next to a smoker at Oceans.
  • When you’re out with that special guy, your cocktail waitress will always be skinny, blond and young.
  • When you’re in a rush to get somewhere, you’ll always end up driving behind an old person in a Toyota Camry.
  • Whoever invented saimin must have also invented SPAM.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, quit before you “make A.”

(Submitted via email by “John”)

More from e-Hawaii Staff

U Know U Local Eef

“U Know U Local Eef” – e-Hawaii Joke You have a separate circuit...
Read More