Hawaii’s Golf Truisms

“Hawaii’s Golf Truisms” – e-Hawaii Joke


  • The rake is always in the other trap
  • The rough will be mown tomorrow.
  • The wind is in your face on 16 of the 18 holes.
  • You always have the honor on a tricky par 3.
  • Nothing straightens out a nasty slice quicker than a sharp dogleg to the right..
  • The ball always lands where the pin was yesterday
  • Out of bounds is always on the right.
  • It never begins to rain on the 18th hole.
  • It always takes at least five holes to notice that a club is missing.
  • The nearest sprinkler head will be blank.
  • Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
  • You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10 percent of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90 percent of the time.
  • The practice green is either half as fast or twice as fast as all the other greens.
  • No one with funny headcovers ever broke par.
  • The lowest numbered iron in your bag will always be impossible to hit.
  • Your straightest iron shot of the day will be exactly one club short.
  • The number of tees in your bag is always less than 3 or more than 600.
  • No matter how far its shaft extends, a ball retriever is always a foot too short to reach the ball.
  • If you seem to be hitting your shots straight on the driving range, it’s probably because you’re not aiming at anything.
  • A two-foot putt counts the same as a two-foot drive.
  • You really only need four clubs to hit every bad shot in golf.
  • Never wash your ball on the tee of a water hole.
  • A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
  • The only thing you learn from golf books is that you can’t learn anything from golf books, but you have to read an awful lot of golf books to learn.

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