“Hawaii’s Golf Truisms” – e-Hawaii Joke
SOME SURE BETS –
- The rake is always in the other trap
- The rough will be mown tomorrow.
- The wind is in your face on 16 of the 18 holes.
- You always have the honor on a tricky par 3.
- Nothing straightens out a nasty slice quicker than a sharp dogleg to the right..
- The ball always lands where the pin was yesterday
- Out of bounds is always on the right.
- It never begins to rain on the 18th hole.
- It always takes at least five holes to notice that a club is missing.
- The nearest sprinkler head will be blank.
- Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
- You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10 percent of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90 percent of the time.
- The practice green is either half as fast or twice as fast as all the other greens.
- No one with funny headcovers ever broke par.
- The lowest numbered iron in your bag will always be impossible to hit.
- Your straightest iron shot of the day will be exactly one club short.
- The number of tees in your bag is always less than 3 or more than 600.
- No matter how far its shaft extends, a ball retriever is always a foot too short to reach the ball.
- If you seem to be hitting your shots straight on the driving range, it’s probably because you’re not aiming at anything.
- A two-foot putt counts the same as a two-foot drive.
- You really only need four clubs to hit every bad shot in golf.
- Never wash your ball on the tee of a water hole.
- A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
- The only thing you learn from golf books is that you can’t learn anything from golf books, but you have to read an awful lot of golf books to learn.