Hawaiian Driver’s License Application

“Hawaiian Brain Teaser” – e-Hawaii Joke

Please try fo complete dis as best as you can.

Last name:

_______________________________________
[if your last name no fit, continue on da oddah side of da page.]

First name:

[ ] Junior
[ ] Junior Boy
[ ] J.B. (short for Jr. Boy)
[ ] Honey Girl
[ ] Tita
[ ] Sista
[ ] Bradda
[ ] Sista-Girl

What year you went grad: ____
(if unsure, try guess)

Sex:

[ ]M
[ ]F
[ ]Mahu
[ ]None

Slippa size: ____ Left ____ Right

Weight:

[ ]Small kine
[ ] Mejum
[ ] Small kine big
[ ] Momona

Eyes:

[ ] Blind as one bat
[ ] Bad, but not dat bad
[ ] She go!
[ ] Black and Blue

Occupation:

[ ] Construction worka
[ ] Sanitation Engineer
[ ] Surfa
[ ] Lei greeter
[ ] Waitress
[ ] Stripper
[ ] Un-employed
[ ] Bishop Estate Trustee

Spouse’s Name:

______________________________

2nd Spouse’s Name:

______________________________

3rd Spouse’s Name:

______________________________

Lover’s Name:

______________________________

2nd Lover’s Name:

______________________________

Nationality:

[ ] Hawaiian
[ ] Popolo
[ ] Japanese
[ ] Filipino
[ ] Haole
[ ] Portagee if yes; explain why:
[ ] Pake if yes; explain why:
[ ] All da above

Numba of children living in household: ______

Numba of children living in your household das not yours: _____

Number of children that stay bumming off of you das over 23 years old: ______

Mother’s Name:

_______________________(Relation__________)

Father’s Name:

_______________________(Relation__________)

Edumacation: (Circle highest grade completed)

1 2 3 4

If you obtained one higher edumacation what was your major?

[ ] 5th grade [ ] 6th grade

Cawheelas you own and where dey stay:

___ Total number of cawheelas you own

___ Number of cawheelas that still crank ova

___ Number of cawheelas wit rust

___ Number of cawheelas no mo rust

___ Number of cawheelas on cement blocks

___ Number of cawheelas stay held together with duct tape.

Age you started fo drive: ______

(If over 10, slow learner ?): [ ] Yes [ ] No

Do you have a surf rack?

[ ] Yes [ ] No; If no, please explain:

Color of teeth:

[ ] Yellow
[ ] Brownish-Yellow
[ ] Brown
[ ] Black
[ ] N/A

How far is your home from a paved road?

[ ] 1 miles
[ ] 2 miles
[ ] don’t know

Distance between you and da beach? ____

Do you live on beach front property but don’t own a house or the land? [ ] Yes [ ] No

Please explain:

How many times have you gotten away with a DUI this year because you were related to da policeman?____

How much pakalolo do you smoke a day?

[ ] 1 joint
[ ] 2 joints
[ ] would smoke but cost more den gold.

How much beer do you drink a day?

[ ] 6 pack
[ ] 12 pack
[ ] 18 pack
[ ] case

How do you know that you had too much to drink?

[ ] You fall out of da car when da policeman opens da car door.
[ ] Da keg is empty.
[ ] You Haole but your eyes look like de from one Japanese.
[ ] When you piss, da bugga smell like Budweiser.
[ ] All of the above.

(Submitted via email by “Joni”)

7 thoughts on “Hawaiian Driver’s License Application

  1. Hey,
    I want to give a gift certificate, birthday card, any kine, for da guys who neva grad high school. Instead, he, (oops) he get pool stick diploma from Cebu pool hall on Hotel street, he miss grad class from W.R. Farrington HS, ats why hard, da poor bugga he no can read so good.

  2. Nah bah, whoever made up dis application knows how to crack an island resident bah! Excellent job, or ‘u good, cuz!’

  3. LOOKING WHAT I HAVE DO GET A HAWAIIAN DRIVER’S LICENSE TO DRIVER’S IN HILO HAWAII SO CAN YOU HELP ME OUT THIS IS MY NUMBER 808 443 7002 MY FATHER NAME WAS FREDRICK P. AWAA SR

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