“Hawaiian Brain Teaser” – e-Hawaii Joke
Please try fo complete dis as best as you can.
Last name:
_______________________________________
[if your last name no fit, continue on da oddah side of da page.]
First name:
[ ] Junior[ ] Junior Boy
[ ] J.B. (short for Jr. Boy)
[ ] Honey Girl
[ ] Tita
[ ] Sista
[ ] Bradda
[ ] Sista-Girl
What year you went grad: ____
(if unsure, try guess)
Sex:
[ ]M[ ]F
[ ]Mahu
[ ]None
Slippa size: ____ Left ____ Right
Weight:
[ ]Small kine[ ] Mejum
[ ] Small kine big
[ ] Momona
Eyes:
[ ] Blind as one bat[ ] Bad, but not dat bad
[ ] She go!
[ ] Black and Blue
Occupation:
[ ] Construction worka[ ] Sanitation Engineer
[ ] Surfa
[ ] Lei greeter
[ ] Waitress
[ ] Stripper
[ ] Un-employed
[ ] Bishop Estate Trustee
Spouse’s Name:
______________________________
2nd Spouse’s Name:
______________________________
3rd Spouse’s Name:
______________________________
Lover’s Name:
______________________________
2nd Lover’s Name:
______________________________
Nationality:
[ ] Hawaiian[ ] Popolo
[ ] Japanese
[ ] Filipino
[ ] Haole
[ ] Portagee if yes; explain why:
[ ] Pake if yes; explain why:
[ ] All da above
Numba of children living in household: ______
Numba of children living in your household das not yours: _____
Number of children that stay bumming off of you das over 23 years old: ______
Mother’s Name:
_______________________(Relation__________)
Father’s Name:
_______________________(Relation__________)
Edumacation: (Circle highest grade completed)
1 2 3 4
If you obtained one higher edumacation what was your major?
[ ] 5th grade [ ] 6th gradeCawheelas you own and where dey stay:
___ Total number of cawheelas you own
___ Number of cawheelas that still crank ova
___ Number of cawheelas wit rust
___ Number of cawheelas no mo rust
___ Number of cawheelas on cement blocks
___ Number of cawheelas stay held together with duct tape.
Age you started fo drive: ______
(If over 10, slow learner ?): [ ] Yes [ ] No
Do you have a surf rack?
[ ] Yes [ ] No; If no, please explain:Color of teeth:
[ ] Yellow[ ] Brownish-Yellow
[ ] Brown
[ ] Black
[ ] N/A
How far is your home from a paved road?
[ ] 1 miles[ ] 2 miles
[ ] don’t know
Distance between you and da beach? ____
Do you live on beach front property but don’t own a house or the land? [ ] Yes [ ] No
Please explain:
How many times have you gotten away with a DUI this year because you were related to da policeman?____
How much pakalolo do you smoke a day?
[ ] 1 joint[ ] 2 joints
[ ] would smoke but cost more den gold.
How much beer do you drink a day?
[ ] 6 pack[ ] 12 pack
[ ] 18 pack
[ ] case
How do you know that you had too much to drink?
[ ] You fall out of da car when da policeman opens da car door.[ ] Da keg is empty.
[ ] You Haole but your eyes look like de from one Japanese.
[ ] When you piss, da bugga smell like Budweiser.
[ ] All of the above.
(Submitted via email by “Joni”)
Hey,
I want to give a gift certificate, birthday card, any kine, for da guys who neva grad high school. Instead, he, (oops) he get pool stick diploma from Cebu pool hall on Hotel street, he miss grad class from W.R. Farrington HS, ats why hard, da poor bugga he no can read so good.
LOL!
Ooka, howcome Farrington now, u sure it was a farrington student. Odra-leh!!!
Nah bah, whoever made up dis application knows how to crack an island resident bah! Excellent job, or ‘u good, cuz!’
I echo dat Nina….dis wun NICE.
Wupz…
LOOKING WHAT I HAVE DO GET A HAWAIIAN DRIVER’S LICENSE TO DRIVER’S IN HILO HAWAII SO CAN YOU HELP ME OUT THIS IS MY NUMBER 808 443 7002 MY FATHER NAME WAS FREDRICK P. AWAA SR